Vincent (Don McLean cover)

Another song of mine up on Soundcloud: HERE

-o0o-

In- -between

"daddy" and "mommy" - it bothers me

and "parent" is cumbersome

because it doesn't have that familiarity

"brother" "sister"

"aunty" "uncle"

"grandma" "gramps"

"daughter" "son"

words that denote closeness seemingly hard-won

but slippery and slick

hard do grasp at

that closeness, that click

the natural feel of a child tugging at your apron strings

there are no words for me if I have a child

there are no words for them to call me

I'd just be "parent-like-thing"

"mamma" and "pappa" - all the same

a rose by any other name?

a "son" who never was

and could never reach "daughter"

I guess for cis folk: a non issue

your currency ubiquitous like a fish in water

because you have it

you have the words

a problem that seems, at least to you, patently absurd

so I guess it's easy for you

to dismiss this as

"we don't need labels"

you rub it off

forget it

shrugged

dust from your shoulders

of course it doesn't matter to you

because you have the words

while transgender nonbinary folk don't

we're just

in-

-between

with words we crave out of our bones

to grapple purchase with familiarity

with a language that doesn't serve us

it bothers me

this "this/that" mess

that wears pants or a dress

here/there you

and nowhere me

who shouldn't exist, so you don't really see

how we struggle for meaning in our words

"mommy" and "daddy" as fleeting as birds

-o0o-

Emperor's New Clothes (Panic! at the Disco cover)

Hey guys. I guess I should share my songs here too. So here's a weird recording I did of Panic! at the Disco's Emperor's New Clothes. I'm currently struggling with whatever lurgy is on the go-abouts, but I have discovered a new way of recording, so give it a listen.

HERE

Anyways, be good, take care of each other.

Love
Charl

-o0o-

Full

would you be true to yourself every day

even if it meant it would put you in harms way

would you start to love yourself full and complete

even if people thought you filled with conceit

would you dare to dance when others stared

would you dare to sing when others glared

if you won't dare to live your life fully

then what purpose do you see in judging me?

-o0o-

Incantation 3: Hymn

Incantation 3: Hymn - 1866x1416px Vectorish Kind of Drawing

(click for larger image)

It bothers me somewhat that there is a smart filter in the works in Photoshop CC that will be able to do portraits like this with the click of the mouse... oh well... progress must onwards making or something :P

Love

Charl

-o0o-

Goldendean

More art from me. This time I did a picture of Dean Hutton a non-binary performance artist from South Africa. This picture is a recreation of their "Goldendean" persona.

"Goldendean" (4000x4000px) (click for larger image)

Love and Cookies
Charl

-o0o-

Birdsong

she had turned sixteen
when she got her first broom
a witch she was, through-and-through
with herbs growing outside her room
and the birds would come whispering
loving letters in her ears
from her long lost love who drowned
beneath the lake of tears

-o0o-

Incantation 2: Sleep Spell

Incantation 2: Sleeping Spell - 3000x3000px Vectorish Kind of Drawing

(click for larger image)

Continuing this art series thing. Don't know where it's going yet. But here it is.

Love

Charl

-o0o-

Incantation

Incantation 1: Evocation - 3000x3000px Vectorish Kind of Drawing
(click for larger image)

set the world achange

with all things weird and strange

with words that shift the axis of all things

like cogs turned in the background

twisting without a sound

and things move, puppets without strings

this is our words like fire

a world changed whole and entire

as new things grow from the song

a life sparked up in the magic

vital, stirring, and frantic

spoken our bones to being strong

-o0o-

Pain

I’m struggling to sleep tonight.
You see, I’m happy.
My body hurts.
I feel pain.
I don’t complain.
Honestly.
I don’t.
I’m happy.
I feel pain.
My body hurts.
I worked hard.
The last two days I packed and cleaned,
I washed and scrubbed till my muscles screamed.
I had to.
I didn’t want to.
I had to.
I have to do this thing.
Now.
And my muscles hurt.
My body burns.
My bones ache.
My stomach turns.
I hurt here.
And I’m happy.
Because it’s been too long,
since I’ve known where my pain comes from.
It’s been too long,
since I could point to a spot on my body and say
“I know what caused this pain.
I know what caused this sprain.
I know what caused that twist,
the pain in my side, in my wrist,
what causes my neck to crack,
and the pain in my back.”
For too long I’ve hurt,
and I couldn’t tell you why.
And when it hurt, I’d cry,
and I had nowhere to point,
to tell you how broken I am.

-o0o-

Red Mask (a 'creepypasta' of sorts)

She didn’t like it, to play hide and seek,

with her friends who visited once a week.

She hated that stupid game that they played,

but her friends, determined, would not be swayed.

When it was her turn to go, run and hide,

no one would offer to sit by her side.

Then when she would find herself all alone,

a man in a red mask comes into her home

Up through the boards all gaze and stare,

the red mask comes to claim his fare.

Up through the boards to claim a soul,

the red mask comes to take his toll.

They found where she hid the last time they played,

and they all ran screaming, shocked and afraid,

of the closet scene so damning, obscene,

that makes nightmares from each and every dream,

of the sight of a girl stitched up with lace,

arms and legs twisted and bent out of place,

crimson blood a pool that flooded the space,

and a red mask stapled onto her face.

Up through the boards all gaze and stare,

the red mask comes to claim his fare.

Up through the boards to claim a soul,

the red mask comes to take his toll.

-o0o-

Breathe (a new song, and my best song I've written in ages)

Please follow the link to the song I just wrote and recorded on Soundcloud: HERE

Okay, one of my best (or at least my favourite) songs I've written in ages. Certainly channelling my inner Aimee Mann.

Breathe - Approximate Lyrics (I tend to mess them up):

I never knew what it would cost
And I could say the same for you
I guess we both were just lost
In a lonely game meant for two

CHORUS
Breathe me in
I breathe the same
We’re just rats racing round
The same track again

So you found another bed
And I later found one too
And since our love was long over
It shouldn’t have meant that much to me and you

CH

So I guess that’s how it goes
A simple kiss to dull the ache
Another lie we tell ourselves
Till goodbyes show up our mistakes

CHx2

-o0o-

New Year's Potion

bottle hope in tiny bottles

brewed from thistle, sage, and wattles

cork the glass containers tight

keep them till the dead of night

open them up to the moon

and hope will come to see you soon

a distant face you can’t recall

a wave of joy you can’t forestall

bottle hope in toilsome years

when life is sad and full of tears

keep a stash when all is lost

keep your heart aflame, fingers crossed

relearn the things you once forgot

and savour hope when there’s a lot

-o0o-