Ambassadors

well, well...

I guess I shouldn't be surprised

the angel and the devil

fully realized, standing at my door

both penitent, level, head-to-head

pontificating of duty

to the absentee father

one of repentance

the other of rebellion

threatening terrible calamity

but you both are

…pathetically vulgar

insisting that I in my (let's face it) glorious style

should pick a side

while you had danced your war

across the bones of my kith

scattered our bodies with stones

prayed to your respective gods

while we prayed for mercy

but answer came there none

and when I stood there, one

alone with no more to bury

why is it that I should happen,

to stumble upon that great weapon?

such a thing I swore I would never use

and here you are standing hand-in-hand

buttering me up oh so grand

save the people, save the land

while you aim my crosshairs at each other

with your trigger fingers twitching

figuring you’d be stitching 

history’s tapestry together

you, Penelope?

waiting for your long lost lover to return

and oh, those promises you make

the threats you hedge

layered on like frosting all too much

on a sickly cake wedge

rich and thick

you offer gold

but you offer dick

you offer power

but you offer peace

no

you have nothing I want

make your promises

blubber your threats

we three know the truth

that you are as empty

as the seat your father left behind

and your war the same

for you and your kind

two pretty kings each with one eye

all-seeing for the blind

but you have not bothered to see the coming storm

-o0o-

I See You

to the bigot behind veiled words

I see you

with your clandestine claptrappery

working your hatred like finery
woven words to misdirect
a fine thread

behind the curtains

behind smart words

behind semantic bullshit
tugging at my skin
like stitches coming undone
you think it's a small pull
but I feel it burning

I see you
I see you

I see you

I know you for what you are

-o0o-

Simple Reminder

I remember waking up to his smile

his lips beacons to wake me

point me to the day like a sundial

showing me how to get up

day after day after that

and I've never forgotten

the small things

that help me get out of bed

he's gone

but I hold onto that small thing

the hope that smells of pillows

warm greetings

and my damned dog jumping in bed

with a mouthful of food

munch and crush

I'm hungry

we haven't eaten 

since yesterday, lunch

so we wake

have breakfast

he goes on his way

I have strength to go on

to get on with my day

-o0o-

Incandescent

I love the word

- incandescent -

the way it climbs

like vines up a wall

to reach the top of the tongue

and flung out like the sun peering over

and that is me and you

sitting atop that wall

drinking apple juice

and eating cookies

and watching the fireflies come out

as the sun sets
hearing chimes sing in the wind
as the clouds draw lines across the sky

and the moon causes light to dance in your hair

and makes the world fair again

-o0o-

Unseen Hurt

but that's the point

when they hit you

they make sure it's unseen

so their hands are clean

so they can tell themselves

they're not bad people

all church and steeple

and they can smile into their gods' faces

and walk on holy places

and pretend

turning a blind eye

because what you did

or what your friends did

happened in dark allies

or behind oblivious privilege

where you can claim

you did nothing

faux civility that makes

for plausible deniability

of course you can't see

it's natural that you'd miss it

and how can't I blame you

when you're so complicit

-o0o-

Bashed

they come every so often

with fists and knives

they try to do their worst

beat us up

try to rob us of our very lives

scream at us

lay us low

push us as far as we can humanly go

but we're still here

at least in part

and putting ourselves back together

has become something of an art

-o0o-

Fuck your "Free Speech"

You have a right to speak,
do it, please.
Run your face like a tap sprung a leak,
but you do not have a right to be heard.
Don’t bring your hate to my party,
with teeth that tear,
stuffing your opinon in my underwear
when I dance,
and call me your stripper.
Your hate is not free.
My life is not your platform.
Freedom of speech does not exist,
because speech isn’t free.
It costs marginalized people the most,
and the most dearly.
And they are silenced,
and beaten up,
and killed,
and forgotten.
A cost you will never understand.
While you:
…white boy
…cis boy
…straight boy
Lecture us about “free speech”!
Stepping up on your privilege,
with your cock hardening,
like shitting on our doorsteps,
and calling it gardening.

-o0o-

Invocation 4: Abjuration

Invocation 4: Abjuration (3926x3926)

(Click for larger image)

-o0o-

Tools of the Trade

I distinguish myself from my enemies

by the tools they use

hatred, violence, abuse

no matter what reasons they give

what rhyme, what ruse

I know my enemies by the tools they use

so regardless of who you think you are

what you say, what you think

whether king of the hill

or living on the brink

if act in ways abhorrently

I consider you my enemy

-o0o-

When I'm Sick

it's worse when I'm sick

the memories set in quick

lock my bones, click/click

reminds me of him

him who broke me

down

into small pieces

when the fever sets in

and his hands become

here and now

instead of then and there

a horrid pair

touching my flesh

ripping my skin

crushing bone

as I beg the phantom to leave me alone

and he takes that smarmy tone

it's worst when I'm sick

and it happens again

the same play

on repeat the same way

years after it happened

and my fevered mind

bringing it back

hit rewind

PTSD unkind

with teeth gritting

staring at the wall

white-ing out my mind

reminding me

he's not here at all

-o0o-

The Games We Play

today I remember the games

I was young

you played hard
a big man molesting a toddler

pinning me under a blanket 

till I couldn't breathe

I hated it

scratching at the floor

try to get away

couldn't breathe

can't breathe

my chest hurting

as you pinned me down

with your knee

I screamed

you beat me

you beat me till I stopped screaming

I learnt from a young age

to take my abuse

to entertain you

and to take it with a smile

to play the game

because entertaining you

was more important

than my bruised ribs

-o0o-