Body Language

I wish people spoke about bodies the same way they visit a crush's house.

"Hey, Ms. Smith,

I like your son,

but have you thought about having your garage removed."

"Hey, Ms. Smith,

I like your daughter,

Is it okay if I dig in your fridge,

and rifle through your underwear drawer."

"Hey, Ms. Smith,

I like your child,

I'm not rude if I stomp on your carpet with muddy boots,

I'm just making a point."

People are more respectful of buildings than they are of bodies.

My body isn't open for commentary.

If I don't know you, don't touch me.

You don't get an opinion, I'm not your welcome mat.

My body is sovereign.

You're not even a guest in this house. -o0o-

Fat Belly

my fat arms have held the dying

and the grieving

my fat lips have kissed pain away

and spoken worlds into being

my fat hips are the shelves of glory

on which champions have sat

where they called me godess

and worshipped at my bedside

my fat fingers can play piano 

better than you can speak your own name

and have stitched up wounds

better than you have caused

my fat feet have marched for equality

and have kicked in Nazi teeth

my fat belly has laughed more

than you have hated

my fat belly is your shame

my fat belly is your undoing

my fat belly is everything you are not

my fat belly is god

and you?

fuckboy?

what have you done with your miserable life?

-o0o-

An Ode to Fatphobia

Fuck your gluten free bread and your protein shake.

Fuck your fat free milk and skim yogurt.

Fuck your fad diets that kill my kin.

Fuck your bro cohorts that kill my kin.

Fuck your cartoons that show fat people as evil.

Fuck your cartoons that show evil people as fat.

Fuck your, "I didn't mean it that way."

Fuck your, "I'm not a bigot my brother is fat."

Fuck your, "skinny tastes like..."

Your skinny tastes like being an arsehole and I've eaten a few in my time.

Fuck your concern with my sex life while I fuck your father.

Fuck your fetishisation.

Fuck your cisheteronormative sexualization of my body.

Fuck your dismissal of my body.

Fuck your ableism.

Fuck your classism.

Fuck your white veganism.

Fuck your moral parading.

Fuck you as if you know.

Fuck your willful ignorance.

Fuck your, "I don't think fat people should work in the airline industry."

Fuck your, "I'm only saying this because."

Fuck your epidemics.

Fuck your twisted statistics.

Fuck your alarmist newspapers.

Fuck your unsolicited advice.

Fuck your assumption at my life.

Fuck your erasure of my actual struggles.

Fuck your privilege and entitlement.

Fuck your opinion and fuck your concern.

Fuck your pretence at my health.

Fuck your pretence at your good will.

Fuck your tears.

Fuck your, "but..."

Fuck you.

Fuck the horse you rode in on.

Nevermind, I ate that too.

-o0o-

Under the Tree

you jeer at fat bodies

but turn to me

saying

you would never

never

never say such a thing about me

I believe you

you would never say such a thing about me

not to my face

you’re far too much of a coward

because all you see is fat

your eyes on my bones

your eyes on my skin

your eyes on my fat

your eyes see one thing

one story

that single story 

that you’ve been glutting on 

your whole life

so your jeers and barbs 

have taken on your singular story

when you jeer 

at fat bodies that aren’t me

you speak 

with the same voice 

of the jeers and barbs running 

like ladder scars up my waistline

you tell me 

my cuts are not caused by your knife

when you’ve spent a lifetime

sharpening your blade 

under the tree 

where we hang ourselves

-o0o-

Stolen Beauty

I'm jealous of her.

She, who carries beauty like she owns it.

She, who snatched beauty from Demeter's fields.

I've always held beauty like I've borrowed it,

like a child caught up the apple tree,

and always, inevitably,

I've been accused of stealing it.

Because who the hell am I,

how dare I,

take possession of something that,

 I've been told I don't deserve?

How dare fat be beautiful?

How dare fat be loved?

How dare I stand in the places of desire,

and say I belong?

-o0o-

Mirror on my Desk

the mirror on my desk lies

it cannot show me as I am

it just repeats

the same crap back at me

the shame, the hate, the inadequacy

I can't trust my mirror anymore

it speaks with the voice of the schoolyard bully

that calls my body into question

making me feel alien from my own skin

and constantly

constantly

making me feel like I want to cut my body away

because somewhere along the line

fat

became something I now suddenly am

and not something I have

-o0o-

Fat

fat
     fucking fat
     thick round
     queer
     fat
each piece of me
     this fat
     pound for pound
me fat
     something for you
          ...you ...thin
but my fat body

     for you to hang your insecurities off

          like I'm a coatrack 

               for the point you're trying to make

for you to be counterpoint to
     so you've got something to feel better than
for you to find your 'inspiration'
     to be used for your goals
          to shame me for your ego
          to hide me behind your neckline and thigh-gap

fuck you

     this is my fat
          and you can't have any

-o0o-