Wednesday, August 29, 2012

Dumbstruck


I tried to write today
But my tongue
sluggish
And my fingers don't type
So I patter them at the keyboard
Tap tap
Forcing them on the keys
Shaking my hands at them
As if shaking a coffee tin at a kettle
As if wringing the blood from the cloth
words out of my fingers
onto the page

-o0o-

Saturday, August 25, 2012

Away from the Menagerie

With her eyes flint-sharpened
     and her callous face poised against
     the outer influences of men.
She stands defiant
     the soft heart within
     shielded against them
Heartless vulgarites
     that jeer at her
     scratching to get at her
She smiles with saccharine
     belying feigned satisfaction
     getting home in one piece
To relax
     and enjoy a cup of coffee
     away from the Menagerie

-o0o-

Monday, August 20, 2012

Queer History

(Written 17 August 2012 - In part an ode to the life and works of Christopher Hitchens.)

You hated us always,
from the beginning till now.
You killed us,
you killed our families,
you drove us from our homes.

Because of your god,
you claim,
all things are permitted.
You are righteous,
blood dripping from your hands.

Of course, then you reformed:
and killing became distasteful,
but you hated us still,
so you stepped back,
a tiny tiny tiny bit.

You changed your tone,
still hateful,
you now needed rhetoric,
to legitimate your hate,
and the apologist stepped up.

When we said that violence,
does not come from a "god of love",
you say,
"Who ever believed it did?"
but your hatred and violence continued.

You stopped killing us,
but you threw us in prison,
you took our rights away,
you took our freedom,
you tortured us brutally.

And again you reformed,
and torture became distasteful,
but you hated us still,
so you stepped back,
a tiny tiny tiny bit.

You changed your tone,
still hateful.
You got into a difficult position,
and how you hated us,
when we started challenging you.

We no longer feared jail,
or prison, or torture.
We could speak our minds,
and you kept us from universities,
and stopped us from getting jobs.

When we said that torture,
does not come from a "god of love",
you say,
"Who ever believed it did?"
but your hatred continued.

And again you reformed,
and exile became distasteful,
but you hated us still,
so you stepped back,
a tiny tiny tiny bit.

You changed your tone,
still hateful,
we now want equal rights,
we didn't ask for them,
we took them.

When we said that human rights,
would not be denied by a "god of love"
you say,
"Who ever believed it did?"
but your hatred continued.

And something strange happened,
you realized,
you couldn't stop us,
not with fear of death,
not with torture or exile.

And again you reformed,
and came at us smiling,
smiling with ingratiating charity.
Opening your doors,
with a cunning lure.

Offering that putrid cup,
that poisoned chalice,
Christian conditional love,
asking for our souls as sacrifice,
in your blood cult.

Your sword hidden far from sight,
your bloody hands pinkwashed,
your churches welcoming,
your ministers eager to,
make us change.

And always ringing,
that ugly stupidity,
"Hate the sin, not the sinner."
Branding our very souls sinful,
by implication.

That we should cut ourselves open,
to be inspected by your superstition,
bringing your pseudoscience,
and scratch at our innards,
so that we resemble you.

-Raw
-Bloody
-Desexualised
-Boring
-Dead

We told you,
wxactly where you could stick it,
and you got so offended,
"The queer agenda!"
you called it.

You screamed at us,
how filthy we were,
how dare we deny you,
didn't we know,
we would be damned?

We said that we didn't believe you.
We wanted nothing to do with you.
Your whole history,
is ankle deep in our blood,
and in our tears.

When we said that hatred,
does not come from a "god of love"
You say,
"Who ever believed it did?"
...Oh really?

You have no right to forget,
the way you behaved,
when you genuinely believed,
when you honestly believed,
when you whole-heartedly believed:

That your god was the sponsor of,
-Your hatred
-Your murder
-Your greed
-And your hubris

Fuck you.

-o0o-

Sunday, August 19, 2012

Poetry Potion: "Never Rose" as Poem of the Week

Hey Guys

So my poem "Never Rose" (http://aplaceformypoetry.blogspot.com/2011/12/never-rose.html) was awarded Poetry Potion's first Poem of the Week (http://poetrypotion.com/poem-of-the-week-never-rose-by-charl-landsberg/). A second poem of mine, "Commedia dell'Arte" (http://aplaceformypoetry.blogspot.com/2012/03/zanni.html), also featured around the same time on Poetry Potion (http://poetrypotion.com/commedia-dellarte-by-charl-landsberg/).


Poetry Potion's website is currently, as my friend Ryan puts it, FUBAR. However, the guys at Poetry Potion are working hard at restoring the website as soon as possible. Keep and eye out for Poetry Potion (http://poetrypotion.com/) and remember to keep supporting our local poets.

Regards
Charl Landsberg

-o0o-

Friday, August 17, 2012

Little Joy

Hands to the sky
Soul splayed outwards
Vivisected by joy
It comes quickly
     And goes quickly
The warm blade of joy
That cuts through the cold
Little sprite
     Far too fast
          And far too quickly
How I struggle to hold
To grasp at your twisting limbs
I wish you could stay forever
What little joy I have
And make me happy
     Always

-o0o-

Wednesday, August 15, 2012

News

I waited for months
Agonized
Piled up my anticipation
I even hoped for the worst
Anything
Just for an answer
Worry became its own voice
Inside of me
Taking up every space
Invading me
Month after month

My head was full
The worry drove everything out
My head was full
It would not take more
My head was full

A guy hit on me
And I could not even look at him
I couldn't let him in
There's no room for him
I'm already bursting at the seams

I did not sleep
I could not sleep
Passing out periodically
An hour here
An hour there
After a few days passing out
And sleeping for twenty hours
Marathon sleeping
I started thinking
Of ending it all
I can't go on like this

Then the news came
It was good news
I was supposed to be happy
And I am happy
I think I am happy
I'm happy dammit...
but

I feel like my stomach was cut
Slit from hip to hip
And my entrails fell out
All at once
In one lump
The worry dropped out of me
And now I'm empty
The afterbirth of my own worry
Nothing

I just slept for six hours

-o0o-
Sent via my BlackBerry from Vodacom - let your email find you!

Friday, August 10, 2012

Derelict

I can't do it anymore
This constant waiting
Derelict
Expecting a solution
That might never come
Should I preempt it all
And strand the world
And leave them waiting for me
Everyone knowing full well
That I've gone someplace
From which I can never return
A. E. Housman rings thick in my head today
"Good creatures, do you love your lives
And have you ears for sense?
Here is a knife like other knives,
That cost me eighteen pence.
I need but stick it in my heart
And down will come the sky,
And earth's foundations will depart
And all you folk will die."
I read this thinking of my options
But as always to afraid to go there

This isn't so much a poem, but, what i suppose would be called, a meta-poem. A poetic commentary including a quote of yet another poem.

-o0o-
Sent via my BlackBerry from Vodacom - let your email find you!

Thursday, August 09, 2012

Imagined

So, you imagined there to be,
some daddy in the sky:
who destined you to live,
who destined me to die.

You imagined me as sick,
and you alone can sell,
the imaginary cure,
that alone would make me well.

You imagined me to hell,
and yourself on heaven's shores.
You soul immaculate,
and mine awash with flaws.

You imagined me as cracked,
and yourself as pure and bold.
You imagined me in debt,
while your pockets filled with gold.

You seem surprised by me;
that I should show disdain.
What nerve I have! The cheek!
How dare I now complain?

But tell the truth, you fool.
If you were me, and I you;
and I claimed such stupid, hateful things,
you'd be somewhat pissed off too.

-o0o-
Sent via my BlackBerry from Vodacom - let your email find you!

Ruba'i for Khayyam

In honour of Omar Khayyam (1048-1131)

At once I heard that god had come again,
petitioning the hearts of all his men,
to be as abject slaves to every law,
that could never hold water now nor then.

I saw Omar then standing at the gate;
a smile on his face and food on his plate.
I asked of the sage whether he was scared,
for god had come again to forge our fate.

"My boy," he said reclining on the floor,
"this god is somewhat lacking in encore."
"How could he ever hope to come again,"
"if that old god was never here before?"

"And say to those fools, who come in his name,"
"to show us a sign that bolsters their claim."
"Since I am not impressed by man-made wars;"
"both their crimes and feats, I view them the same."

-o0o-

In the style of Omar Khayyam:

Look not above, there is no answer there;
Pray not, for no one listens to your prayer;
Near is as near to God as any Far,
And Here is just the same deceit as There." (#78)

"And do you think that unto such as you;
A maggot-minded, starved, fanatic crew:
God gave a secret, and denied it me?--
Well, well, what matters it? Believe that, too!" (#85)

"Did God set grapes a-growing, do you think,
And at the same time make it sin to drink?
Give thanks to Him who foreordained it thus--
Surely He loves to hear the glasses clink!" (#91)

as translated from the Persian by Richard Le Gallienne.

Thursday, August 02, 2012

Got ist Tot

You can’t foresee the day at all
The day on which God dies
I looked up, prayed and all I saw
Were vacant starry skies

I missed Him then as if He’d gone
But find Him now distasteful
His priests, his imam’s, rabbi’s, all,
They make His face disgraceful

Now God no longer haunts my mind
Impeding every action
No superstition, no remorse
No credulous distraction

I only give my mind to that
Which feeds my intellect
And I approach no priesthood
With undeserved respect

-o0o-