Wednesday, August 15, 2012

News

I waited for months
Agonized
Piled up my anticipation
I even hoped for the worst
Anything
Just for an answer
Worry became its own voice
Inside of me
Taking up every space
Invading me
Month after month

My head was full
The worry drove everything out
My head was full
It would not take more
My head was full

A guy hit on me
And I could not even look at him
I couldn't let him in
There's no room for him
I'm already bursting at the seams

I did not sleep
I could not sleep
Passing out periodically
An hour here
An hour there
After a few days passing out
And sleeping for twenty hours
Marathon sleeping
I started thinking
Of ending it all
I can't go on like this

Then the news came
It was good news
I was supposed to be happy
And I am happy
I think I am happy
I'm happy dammit...
but

I feel like my stomach was cut
Slit from hip to hip
And my entrails fell out
All at once
In one lump
The worry dropped out of me
And now I'm empty
The afterbirth of my own worry
Nothing

I just slept for six hours

-o0o-
Sent via my BlackBerry from Vodacom - let your email find you!

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