When I'm Sick

it's worse when I'm sick

the memories set in quick

lock my bones, click/click

reminds me of him

him who broke me

down

into small pieces

when the fever sets in

and his hands become

here and now

instead of then and there

a horrid pair

touching my flesh

ripping my skin

crushing bone

as I beg the phantom to leave me alone

and he takes that smarmy tone

it's worst when I'm sick

and it happens again

the same play

on repeat the same way

years after it happened

and my fevered mind

bringing it back

hit rewind

PTSD unkind

with teeth gritting

staring at the wall

white-ing out my mind

reminding me

he's not here at all

-o0o-