Hypocrite

My friends always wonder why I get upset
When they say something racist.
Why I have to walk away sometimes,
when family talks badly of
black people
or Indian people
or coloured people.
They wonder why I often change the subject
of a conversation before they've finished their...

I am incapable of racism, you see.
I hate it.
Strange don't you think?
Because all white men should be racists.
It’s only natural, isn't it?
But I am not.
Thanks to you really.

You know my uncle was a black man.
My grandfather adopted him.
Of course you know, but you don't like it.
You hate it, because we are supposed to be white.
We are supposed to be pure.
Because somehow white skin is purer than black skin.
How can I be pure if I am related to a black man?
You like to think of yourself as pure,
But we all know that's not true.

My best friend at the time was black,
But you didn't know that.
David is such a "white" name after all.
My mother didn't teach me discrimination.
I never learned the language of hate.
So how could you know he was black?
I just spoke of my friend, not his skin colour.

Then I brought him home one day.
We were going to watch a movie.
We were going to walk to the cinema from home.
But you hated it.
I saw it in your eyes, he did too.
You told my mother to drive us there,
so that none of your friends would see
me walking with a black boy.

I remember my mom dropping him off
at home after the movie.
I remember getting home.
You grabbed me
You threw me down into your study.
Everyone was quiet.
Nobody said a word as you abused me.
"Kaffer lover!" you screamed,
"You want to go sleep with the fucking kaffers too?"
I didn't understand.
I was twelve.
I just cried.
I didn't want to be thrown out of the house.

Afterwards I just sat in my room, silently, for hours.
I heard you screaming at my mother.
I saw you throw her out of the glass sliding door
Into the palm garden by the pool.
"I know you had a Kaffer brother!" you screamed,
"I didn't know you fucked him and shat out another little Kaffer!"
You screamed pointing at my room.
Ironic coming from a man
Who fucks women who aren't white
Behind closed doors where his friends can't see.

Silly little hypocrite.

Since that day
Whatever seed of racism that may have been in me died.
Make no mistake
I still see skin colour.
Colour doesn't go away.
Nothing makes colour go away.
Without colour what would the world be
Dry and dull and dead.
Difference between me and you is;
Where you see a white man versus a "Kaffer"
I see my brothers and sisters in many colours.

This is the rainbow nation to me.
A future where colour is wealth and wellbeing.
Not, a cause for violence and hatred.
This is my dream South Africa.
A world just beyond our dreams and hopes.

We aren’t there yet.
People like you have made sure of that.
Hate mongers and racists.
Child abusers and hypocrites.
My future has no place for you.
My heaven has no place for you.
Heaven will spit you out.
And your skin will burn black.
Blacker than any skin you’ve grown to hate.

[Thanks for letting me use this David :D ]

-o0o-